time :: cycles
pluto in aquarius // moon in leo + the line of mystery and fire
hello and happy new year—
i am finding it difficult to feel grounded since pluto entered aquarius, reality feels stranger and stranger, a certain psychedelic magic is in the air and synchronicities are abundant, the universe feels like a jester winking at me as i drag my feet through the mud, lost in my usual depressive patterns, and i cannot help but to laugh and feel joy again, the universe is too full of mirth at times not too—
maybe i am going insane, or maybe reality is growing more absurd, as the systems that have been in place that are clearly so dysfunctional start to grow more desperate, like a child throwing a tantrum… we all know this isn’t working anymore but we still have to be in this liminal space until the new reality forms—one that is actually just, embodied, nonviolent (and i do believe a better reality is coming for all of us, despite how bleak stuff feels)
my most important goal this year is to seek beauty, because i realize that it is a state i can move and work towards—whereas my default state can sometimes be one of hopelessness, spiraling anxiety, seeking beauty can be a life vest against the spiral, it brings me into the now, and i notice the light and the trees, and i feel a flood of beauty and magic, and then i feel as if my day is fully lived, from feeling a flood of beauty for one second, and suddenly the concern of whether i matter doesn’t matter so much anymore, i’m just a being here to experience a blink of life (and i don’t want to close my eyes yet)
“…I saw the line of mystery and fire, which is a surreptitious line. A note exists between two notes of music, between two facts exists a fact, between two grains of sand no matter how close together there exists and interval of space, a sense that exists between senses—in the interstices of primordial matter is the line of mystery of fire that is the breathing of the world, and the continual breathing of the world is what we hear and call silence.” — Clarice Lispector, The Passion of GH
Current obsessions:
Film: Hourglass Sanatorium (a psychedelic polish journey through time, I want whatever is in their water and air!!)
Sound: Wall of Eyes-The Smile, 154- Wire, Health and Efficiency- This Heat, Loom- Katie Gately, Cenizas- Nicolas Jaar
Misc:
Thinking of time and it’s relationship to sound, and how our perception of time might alter it, how our experience of a space creates an extra dimension of our listening **
Thinking of cycles and patterns that repeat in our lives, are they echoes or delays, are we in a spiral or a loop?? at times I feel an experience is directly parallel to one I had years ago, and it feels like a trial I have to keep repeating until I break through
** more on these thoughts later, there might be a part two to this letter as i continue to digest and chew on these bigger thoughts and theories…
Anyway, happy cycling~~~
-A
Beautiful, and I love the images 𖦹